Gridlocked

It has been interesting to learn from Dr Gottman and Dr. Goddard and while I have enjoyed all of Dr. Gottman's teachings of the 7 principles, they have paled in comparison to the themes of Dr. Goddard's book.  That being said, this week, Dr. Gottman got me with his explanation of gridlock and unfulfilled dreams.  It really is a spiritual aspect of our eternal beings, figuring out what we ultimately want out of this life, what are our dreams?!  I was able to think about my own, examine what I believe the dreams of my ex-husband are, and think about what the dreams are of a potential marriage partner that I am dating.  This broad perspective helped me to feel grounded and sure of my path, where I am going, what my goals are, why they are important to me, and how to accommodate the deepest dreams of those around me.  It really makes life a beautiful puzzle.

I also enjoyed reading about the pure love of Christ, through the chapter on charity in Dr. Goddard's book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage.  He quotes President Joseph F. Smith's counsel: "speak only of the good that you know and feel, one for another, and thus bury each other's faults and not magnify them; isn't that better?"  This is a powerful question.  I lived in a 15 year marriage where I truly feel that I lived this principle to my very fullest.  It brought me tremendous joy.  But what was to be said of all that joy when a spouse leaves a family and abandons their covenants?  I have often wondered if it should have been better to find a way to deal with our shortcomings rather than bury our faults.  The only way to know is through the Spirit.  The Spirit can testify to us whether facing a challenge in grace is full of more charity and pure love than burying it.  These principles are difficult.  But whenever I turn to the Lord for clarity and help, a way is provided to expand my heart, to find more love, to give more, to sacrifice more, to have charity.  I am so grateful for these eternal principles that stand supreme to all of the marriage advice in the world!